As I reach my 34th birthday I have to ask myself; where the f**K have the last few years gone! It’s at points in life like this that you begin to wonder what have you have actually achieved and how the hell you have actually gotten to this particular point. I have been thinking recently about key crossroads in life, people I have met, places I have lived and jobs I’ve had. To get to this point in life and in a situation like this I am extremely lucky (or just extremely single minded), not many people follow their dreams and I often wonder about what’s motivated me, exactly what has driven me to be here? Why not just settle for the comfortable suburban life, drinking endless coffee and buying endless consumer goods I don’t really need?
My only answer is that in some small way I like to think that I can make a small but positive difference to the state of the world.
It’s abundantly clear that the planet’s not in a happy state, socially and environmentally. We humans have given the planet and each other a pretty hard time (recent events in Egypt and the continued oppression of Palestinians are two examples) and even though the evidence is clear that we need to change how we do things, that change is certainly not the overwhelming tide it needs to be to substantially improve humanities future prospects. So I guess being here at this point in time is my small gesture to do the best I can and although my background is environmental ‘management’ what I do is as much about people as it is about the environment, as without social equality there can never be environmental sustainability. I am simply working within my sphere of influence to the best of my ability.
The actual path or process of getting to this point has been as interesting as the motivation and it’s been a long path. I guess the motivation to get here was set at an early age, but to arrive here has taken a number of ‘tours of duty’ in local government in both Australia and New Zealand, jobs in three main centres within these two countries and numerous other small contract and permanent positions, volunteering and independent research (sadly none of it published).
This role signifies a distinct and necessary change in the path I was taking. After a period of time of working through these various roles I began to notice that as time went on my ability to actually make calls to protect the environment based on any experience was diminishing rapidly; to the point where the actual process of working became far more important than actual tangible outcomes. It became obvious that organisations like the one I was most recently working for were not fulfilling their obligations to protect the environment for future generations and were more concerned with defending organisational process from criticism, irrespective of whether or not this process actually delivered good environmental outcomes. At this realisation it became clear that a stark change was needed. At the time on offer was a position in Armidale doing urban environmental restoration which would have paid over AUD$70,000, so it would have been the highest paid position I have ever had and then also on the table I had the offer of a volunteer opportunity in the Solomon Islands that didn’t even pay the equivalent of the unemployment benefit in New Zealand. It was an easy choice to make!
Of course it’s not all plain sailing and the one thing that I have noticed quite starkly is how pursuing this dream has had significant implications on friendships. In the short time I’ve been here communication has steadily dropped away and I am not really too surprised at that as it was always going to happen. So as time ticks over it will be interesting to see who stays in touch and how do different friendships evolve. Do friendships become stronger or weaker from my time here? I am realising more and more just how significant proximity is to the maintenance of friendships and relationships.
One thing is that I have really come to appreciate the efforts that people do make to stay in touch and there have been some great gestures, such as a great chat on Skype with friends in Christchurch who I don’t really catch up with much these days and an awesome parcel sent from a friend in Australia with a pocket sized survival kit. The thought that went into putting this together was quite evident and it so good to receive gifts like this. There have been a number of other very meaningful communications. Each email, Skype or phone chat takes on increased significance the longer I am here.
Although the last few years became increasingly frustrating, the skills learnt in the past few years have allowed me this opportunity and this opportunity feels like being back on track, fighting the good fight. So here’s to being 34 and as one of guys I work with says ‘solid as bro’.
P.S One of the features of this blog is that you can look at the stats on in which countries people view your blog from and so It’s with some satisfaction that I can say I am extremely popular in Guam, in the last month I have had 16 views from Guam with the United States some distance behind on 6 views. I love Guam.
